I went to my diabetes appointment the other day and we got on to the topic of alcohol and how it effects my blood sugars and also how to drink and be safe. She said that it will be hard for me to tell people the difference between me passing out from being drunk and passing out from low blood sugars. Heaven forbid they happen at the same time because she said I’ll die.
She asked me what I determine an alcoholic to be and then told me the medical definition. Our definitions matched and I found out I fit it. She said that next time I’m in group to say “Hi I’m Shannon and I’m an alcoholic.”, as I’ve been skipping my introduction and passing on questions. However I don’t think I’m an alcoholic. Sure, I drink all day, to excess and get very rowdy when I’m drunk, but I’m 20yrs old, don’t most people my age do that?
Last night I went over to my alcoholic friends house to spend the night. She is trying to get sober before she goes to Canada in two weeks to see her daughter. We thought we’d have one last night together to cause havoc and have fun. I didn’t steal anything last night which I feel both sad and pleased about but I did compromise my safety and morals for which I am really disappointed. I’ve done and am doing things that I promised myself I wouldn’t do and I hate myself for that. I often think ‘yeah but everyone else does that’ but I am not like everyone else, I hold myself to higher standards than most girls these days and I can’t believe I’m breaking those standards down.